As I wrote last week, I have done more crying since the advent of my seizure disorder on August 30, 2012 than I have done in the past 58 years of my life. That’s been especially true when watching touching and tender movies or receiving heart-warming expressions of love, but other things can spark my emotions as well. My own thought is that all this crying has been as important to my healing as the passage of time, the wisdom of doctors, and administration of medication. Read on to learn more!
I want to dive a little deeper into all this crying I have been doing than I did in last week’s Provision,Unbidden. I wrote about the notion that these tears were purging my system of toxins, and with every passing day I believe that more and more. My son-in-law, who is from Peru, likes to say that I have simply become a Latin man now • I have feelings and I’m not afraid to express them! But more is going on here than just the purging of toxins. I have also been coming alive.
This past Friday, December 7, was my birthday. I turned 58 and I didn’t want to announce that in last week’s Provision because I think I was still getting used to the idea. I have also had a strong sense that my seizure disorder would shift significantly, in positive ways, on my birthday, and I wanted to see how that was going before sharing the news with the world. At this point, it does indeed seem as though these tears have been tears of joy as I get ready for the big awakening.
Last night we watched the 1990 movie, Awakenings, starring Robert De Niro and Robin Williams. Based on a true story, this fast-paced drama set in 1969 features a reclusive neurologist (Williams) given authorization to test an experimental drug on a catatonic patient (De Niro), who awakens from his 30-year stupor and grapples with the fact that he is now an adult, 30-years older.
Set in a local hospital in a borough of New York City, the Bronx, that is filled with such catatonic patients, all of whom survived the 1917-1928 epidemic of encephalitis lethargica, Williams’ character discovers that certain stimuli will reach beyond their catatonic states and will awaken them to life. For someone suffering from his own form of encephalitis (brain inflammation), you can imagine the effect this movie had on me.
It was both encouraging and discouraging. It was encouraging to see them wake up • exactly my experience over the past many weeks, since being brought out of a medically-induced coma to control a brain that was, at the time, seizing uncontrollably. It was discouraging to learn, at the end of the movie, that the awakening of these patients, who had suffered much longer and harder than me from a very different form of encephalitis, was only temporary. They awoke for a time only to return to their former catatonic states.
It is my hope, prayer, and belief that that will not happen to me. If you pray, please pray for that. There is actually good reason to believe that my recovery will be full and complete. It has certainly been rapid and remarkable, given the extent of my immune-system inflicted brain injuries. No doctor in September would have predicted that my seizures would have reduced so dramatically and that I would be sending out Provisions in late November / early December.
On top of their great ministrations, the advances in neurological drugs since 1969, and the love of my family and friends, I am quite convinced that all the crying I have been doing has been an integral part of my healing. The crying was to be expected, since the limbic system • the part of my brain that has been inflamed • is the seat of emotions. But the healing that has come from my crying has been quite unexpected. Who knew that toxins could be purged in such visible and dramatic ways.
But that is exactly what has been happening. I feel better after every time I cry. And there is no doubt in my mind that all this crying has been an integral part of my healing process. If you have a trauma of your own to work on and recover from, I recommend it highly.
Coaching Inquiries: When was the last time you cried? What do you remember about its effects? What moves you to cry? In what ways might crying be helpful to you? Who do you know who cries frequently and easily? When might you be able to have a conversation with them about what their crying means to and does for them? Do you feel moved after reading this Provision to add a little more crying into your life? How might that happen?
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Editor’s Note: The LifeTrek Readers’ Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, use our Feedback Form or Email Bob.
So glad that you are making progress. Cry all you want. It helps. As a cancer survivor three times I do a lot of crying and it has helped in recovery. Keep pushing, and keep writing; loved the poem, and always enjoy the newsletter.
As you know, I know you more than you know me…really! But your generosity of heart makes us one in spirit. I am so grateful to “hear”(you have a voice). Life offered you more time with yourself, your family and us (the ones’ who reads you every week). The order of things, your life is yours and yours to live. First thing first! Your happy, I am happy. No proof needed. It is that simple.
I am so very glad that you are doing well. I will tell you that I believe in Karma, and yours is both very strong and very good. What you do in life will always come back to you, and your Karma is reflected in the many people who love and support you. You have affected so many lives in a positive way – and very few people can say that. I know that you will continue to mend.
I’m just another person thinking about you almost every day. Just a shadow, really, in your life, but moving along with you. Hopefully we will re-meet at the Nonviolent Communication meeting this month. Know that if you ever need me, I am another person to hang on to.
I loved your poem and how true it is. So happy you are here and recovering from your recent experience. I can only imagine the love and prayers that accompanied you along the way. I feel blessed to know you and receive your provisions each week, and very thankful that you are still here to write them.
Thank you for this provision. It is life affirming. I think of you and Megan often on this journey.
I am so glad that you are recovering. When I saw Provisions from you last week, I filled with joy. I have been praying for your recovery. So happy and thankful you are back with us. I don’t even know you yet I consider It such a blessing to have you in my life!
One never knows, does one, where one’s influence is felt. Of all the comments flowing your way, you chose the words of the late Buddy Leach to highlight. I didn’t use the word •humility,• but that too comes with the pool cue experience, as you have noticed.
While we have had only brief encounters Bob, my heart went out to you when I heard about your medical situation. I am so glad to hear you are finding the road to recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with you and wishing you and your loved ones a blessed holiday.
I am reminded to tell you that my teacher of the last 17 years, Caroline Myss, also suffered from undiagnosed seizures. She rarely talks about them, however I recall she mentioned them in relation to her own deep opening…see this link…http://www.myss.com/news/archive/2007/022307.asp.
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