We’re taking a break this week from my series on optimal wellness to introduce our new coaching specialty: resilience. If life has a way of getting you down, then you may want to make Christina Lombardo your resilience coach. Life gets a little easier when you have the right coach and the right coaching in your corner. I’ll be running a marathon on Sunday in St. Louis, Missouri, with a second cousin on my father’s side. By mile 25 I’m sure resilience will become an overriding concern! Christina’s Provision offers great wisdom.
With this issue of Provisions, LifeTrek is pleased to announce a new coaching specialty: resilience coaching. Who couldn’t benefit from more resilience in their lives? In today’s dynamic and fast-changing world, resilience is more vital than ever. It’s what helps us to move past enormous obstacles and to move toward fully living our dreams.
Resilience coaching explores ways of being and doing that bolster our ability to bounce back in radiantly positive ways from even the largest of life’s initially overwhelming developments. To make this happen, resilience coaching has two dimensions. The first looks carefully at our ways of being that support a resilient lifestyle. The second looks carefully at our responses.
Resilience coaching begins by emphasizing a person’s values, intentions, and motives through a process of reflective listening and powerful coaching. This becomes the foundation we use to create lasting resilient perspectives, skills, and ways of being.
It strengthens our responses by looking at both our perspectives about situations and by looking at our choice of action. The importance of looking closely at our perspectives as a part of being resilient is reflected in Novelist Ellen Glasgow’s quote “Nothing in life is so hard that you can’t make it easier by the way you take it.”
Often, we hear about individuals who have bounced back from devastating events such as hurricanes, terrorism, illness, job loss, or loss of a loved one. These individuals are inspiring, real-life examples of resiliency.
My cousin, Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D., is one such individual. On June 13, 1998, her life was transformed when a 3 1/2 ton tree came crushing down on her. In that instant, she became paralyzed from the waist down with a spinal cord injury. Her life was changed profoundly.
Following the injury, Rosemarie looked deep within herself to find new strength and resolve. Today, Rosemarie is a powerful, internationally known speaker, trainer, consultant, writer, publisher, and CEO of Rossetti Enterprises. She travels the globe sharing the lessons she has learned since that fateful day, demonstrating how to rise above misfortune and live life with conviction. Much of what I’ve learned over last decade about resilience I’ve learned from watching Rosemarie create a remarkable life, fulfilling her wildest dreams despite the 3 • ton curveball life threw her (like snow skiing from her wheelchair!).
Sometimes assumptions are made about people with lots of resilience, as though they quickly plow through their emotions in order to build anew. On the contrary, a key and initial component of resilience is to fully experience and express our feelings in healthy ways. Emotional expression is an important step toward gaining a positive perspective. It is also a crucial building block that enables us to bounce back bigger and better than before.
Feeling personally in charge of creatively finding a way to overcome life’s difficulties is another key to resilience. Resilience coaching teaches you how do that. By learning how to learn from life’s curveballs, focus on what you want, work toward its creation, and ultimately feel personally responsible for how well your life goes, you end up with a stronger sense of control over your conscious responses to life’s events.
In recent years, the field of resilience psychology has discovered that some people are born with innate tendencies that allow them to be more resilient than others. These attributes that naturally allow some people to be more resilient are part of the resilience coaching journey.
Consider these resilience-based coaching questions: How do you naturally react when things don’t go your way? How do you interact with ambiguity? At what times might you laugh at yourself? Do you seek to learn valuable lessons from unfortunate situations? How much of your life do you own? How do you use curiosity to move you forward? Are you an observer to your negative thoughts? Do you want to strengthen your resilient ways of being?
Resilience coaching enables you to explore and to strengthen three foundational choices: 1) to take care of yourself, 2) to care for others, and 3) to learn all you can. These choices break down to include the following attributes and skills:
- Self Esteem, Self Concept, Self Confidence, Self Efficacy
- Emotional intelligence including managing your gremlin
- Setting self chosen goals and asserting your intentions
- Relying on your Faith
- Optimal wellness and renewal
- Self expression
- Owning your life
- Problem solving
- Being light hearted
- Having a synergistic effect
- Being empathetic
- Being optimistic and learning from pessimism
- Exploring your vulnerability
- Focusing on the future
- Appreciative and self motivated learning
How well do you bounce back from life’s disappointments? The importance of exploring and strengthening our personal resilience is emphasized by the oldest continuously used book in human history, the I Ching. It traces back nearly 5,000 years and is known as The Book of Changes.
The title, I Ching, conveys three meanings: 1) change is continuous, 2) change is the only constant reference point in life, and 3) the never-ending process of change can be simple, easy, and natural for us.
If you want to put forth optimism and a playful lightheartedness during difficult times, to fully explore and release your emotions, to avoid feeling like a victim so you can own your life, to remain calm under pressure, to improve your problem solving and creativity skills, to stress proof your life, to realize life’s natural learning opportunities, to build a life that works well for you and others, and to convert bad luck into good luck, then resilience coaching can be your guide.
“Your life goes in the direction of the words that you speak, the thoughts in your mind, and the feelings in your heart.” Author unknown.
Special Offer: If you are curious about how you can partner with a resilience coach to explore and enhance your own personal whole life resilience, please Email Christina or use the Contact Format our Website to arrange for a complementary conversation.
To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, Email Us or use our Contact Form on the Web for a complimentary coaching session.
Editor’s Note: The LifeTrek Readers’ Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, use our Feedback Formor Email Bob..
So sorry to hear about your uncle’s health. How wonderful that you are able to get away and be there with him. It sounds like this is a “time of transition” for him, so my thoughts and prayers go out to him and the family!
I thought about contacting you last week when my brother had a hemorrhagic stroke, and even more so now that I am reading your newsletter. Hard to believe at 42 years old. He is in probably the best physical condition of his life, and in fact ran his first marathon this summer. He has none of the risk factors for stroke, so it was quite a shocking diagnosis. He apparently had a very rare type of stroke which was more of a “leaky vein.” Thank God he has nearly fully recovered, and should be back to normal in 6-8 weeks.
I feel like we’re far too young to be having such dramatic health problems, so his bizarre medical emergency, though not attributed to poor health behaviors, serves as a great reminder that we need to actively pursue health and wellness. I have referred him to your newsletter as a marathon runner and for great health and wellness information.
So again, I offer prayers and support for your uncle and family, and thank you for all you do to make pursuing a healthy lifestyle more understandable and thus possible.
So sorry to hear about your dad’s brother’s poor health. How very kind of you to accompany your dad and keep him company through the difficult process of letting go. We are never too busy for what is really important. Over the last few years, I have lost my dad, mom, only brother, and my father-in-law. At the current rate of one-a-year, I will be without family in no time.
Each loss has been complex, interesting, and unique, I have found each a tremendous opportunity for growth and learning. I had hundreds of books to help me prepare for having a baby, but failed to find anything as straightforward and helpful regarding the end of life. Having been through the sanitized hospital version of the last days of life, as well as the home-care approach, I have experienced the spectrum. I’ve kept a comprehensive journal for 15 years and, even though I have no advice to offer you or your dad as you face a new finality, I have started a project that begins to get at grief and loss. Sort of the “Lamaze” concept of dying. I’ve written fiction for two decades, but for this work I’m partnering with a therapist because I think it could have genuine value. With the aging of baby boomers, she is seeing a huge growth in patients who need help coping with loss.
I hope things are going as well as they can go for you. I certainly look forward to your Provision each week.
I appreciated your reminder that when we eat miserable animals we are eating their misery. It is only our language that causes us to think of our emotions as being separate from our bodies. On the contrary, emotions are very physical events! I suspect humans are not the only animals who feel that way.
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Bob Tschannen-Moran, MCC, BCC
President, LifeTrek Coaching International, www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation, www.SchoolTransformation.com
Immediate Past President, International Association of Coaching, www.CertifiedCoach.org
Author, Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time, Online Retailers
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