Tis the season to ask for what you want; the season for list making, goal setting and the dreaming of dreams. But, are you sure that what you are wishing for is really what you want?
You see, there is a vast difference between wishing for the creation, or existence, of something (a Want) and wishing for the elimination of things (a Don’t Want). As an example, a goal that states, “I want to be thin” is likely a “Don’t Want” in disguise. This “Don’t Want” goal, will be accompanied by negative feelings, otherwise known as “baggage”, such as:
- I don’t want to be uncomfortable in my clothes anymore.
- I don’t want to feel ugly anymore.
- I don’t want to be tired anymore.
- I don’t want to feel out of control.
- I don’t want to be embarrassed.
And so on.
When a goal is based in all that we do not want, it comes with an enormous amount of negative energy. Imagine, for example, the feeling that would be produced by focusing on the thoughts listed above. The “Don’t Wants” are uninspiring and dark, producing anger, dread, or even fear.
Here’s the good news, getting clear about what we don’t want enables us to better articulate what we do want. Desires and goals founded in “Wants” produce positive feelings. When you’ve hit upon a “Want” you will notice a shift in both your level of energy and feeling of hope. Using the example from above, we can change our language, and thought processes, to make dramatic shifts in our goals:
- I want to be comfortable in my skin.
- I want to glow.
- I want to be vivacious and vibrant.
- I want to honor my body with healthy choices.
- I want be authentic in every situation.
Can you feel the energy shift? When we truly focus on our “Wants”, thinking about them generates excitement and pulls us forward. Even if the goal is large and long-term, we can sustain energy for it much more easily if it is rooted in desires and not fears.
Coaching Inquires: How has your ability to achieve your desires been undermined by the “Don’t Wants”? What have you stopped allowing yourself to want?
To reply to this Pathway, use our Feedback Form. To learn more about our Creativity Coaching Programs and to arrange for a complementary Creativity coaching session, use our Contact Form or Email Erika.
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Erika Jackson (Erika@LifeTrekCoaching.com)
LifeTrek Coaching International
Columbus, OH • U.S.A.
Telephone: 614-565-9953 • Fax: 208-977-7793
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