Many years ago, I left a job in which I was absolutely miserable. I was dissatisfied with my manager, the culture of my department, and had a laundry list of instances where I felt I had been treated unfairly. I left feeling battered, insecure, and questioning of my own skills, all the while sure that a move to a new organization would enable me to overcome such a “bad” experience and find a place to be appreciated.
I excitedly changed jobs and, though the company was new to me, my attitude wasn’t. I took with me the insecurity and questioning of self which left me so debilitated that my performance suffered greatly.
I wish I could say that I learned from that experience, but I instead left yet again, this time seeking a position within a younger, more progressive organization who would certainly lift me up and encourage me. It didn’t. Within two years time, I fled from the organization feeling more wounded and helpless than ever.
By now, perhaps, you being wiser than I was then, are clearly seeing my pattern. I kept bringing the same “me” to each situation; I was being fearful and insecure and believed that a change in job circumstance would change that within me. In other words, I was believed if I could have a new job, I could then do greater things, and I would finally be recognized and fulfilled!
In Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch scripts his own dialogue with God which reveals to him, that “in life, you do not have to do anything. It’s all a question of what you are being.” He continues, “First you ‘be’ the thing called ‘happy’ (or ‘knowing,’ or ‘wise,’ or ‘compassionate,’ or whatever), then you start ‘doing’ things from this place of beingness • and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you’ve always wanted to ‘have.'”
“The way to set this creative process (and that’s what this is…the process of creation) into motion is to look at what it is you want to ‘have,’ ask yourself what you think you would ‘be’ if you ‘had’ that, then go right straight to being. In this way you reverse the way you’ve been using the Be-Do-Have paradigm — in actuality, set it right • and work with, rather than against, the creative power of the universe.”
What I wanted to have was a role, such as that of a consultant, who could be disconnected from the politics of an organization in a way that allows a freedom to speak with candor, making observations and suggestions without significant repercussions. What I wanted to be was confident, self-assured, bold, even risky.
And so, I spent a number of years shifting my focus from the having to the being-doing. I set about practicing the behaviors that I imagined would be possible with such beliefs about myself. I embraced having the freedom to speak my mind, proposing ideas despite potential opposition, making bold requests, and asking powerful questions. In the process of doing, I was blessed to find myself becoming a new being.
Today, I take on a number of roles in my life that would not have been possible without the Be-Do mind shift. One of them is even doing some work with a former employer. As the “new me” has been so engaged, I’ve found Wayne Dyer’s assertion to be true: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” In the same space, with many of the same people and much of the same culture, I am having a completely different experience. And, they are having a completely different experience of me.
Coaching Inquiries: Who do you want to be? What are you doing that sows and fertilizes who you want to be? What are the patterns of being that have kept you stuck?
To reply to this Pathway, use our Feedback Form. To learn more about our Creativity Coaching Programs and to arrange for a complementary Creativity coaching session, use our Contact Form or Email Erika.
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Erika Jackson (Erika@LifeTrekCoaching.com)
LifeTrek Coaching International
Columbus, OH • U.S.A.
Telephone: 614-565-9953 • Fax: 208-977-7793
Subscribe/Unsubscribe: Subscriber Services