Career Pathway #176: Ask For What You Want

Two weeks ago Christina wrote about the importance of asking for what you want in a Leadership Pathway with the same title as this one. She wrote from her experience of asking for what she wanted in the context of a large, corporate structure. Her request led to new leadership opportunities for her within that organization.

So too when it comes to steering ourselves towards what we desire in our careers or in any aspect our personal lives. Yet, that “asking” often becomes the stumbling block or obstacle that stands in our way. We come up with rationales that may or may not be founded, and we run those tracks through our brains, convincing ourselves that we are not going to get what we want. Getting past those insecurities can be a major hurdle.

Of course the first step is to realize that we are getting in our own way. And the second is to stop playing those unproductive stories in our minds. Our minds are also capable of building stories where getting what we want is possible. And that is the thinking that will allow us to move ourselves forward in confidence.

Much of this boils down to facing what we think will be difficult conversations. But again, convincing ourselves that the conversation will be an uphill battle leads to our avoiding the conversation and /or undermining its success. And, avoiding the conversation probably leads us to staying in the same situation we are today. 

Asking for what you want is a mature approach to life. It is a win-win for everyone involved. Voicing the desire creates the opportunity for it to evolve. Where “stuffing it” only creates dissatisfaction and resentment and begins to undermine the relationships involved.

Challenge yourself to have at least one conversation this week to open up dialogue by addressing something you are seeking in life • fewer work hours, more help with a project or heavy workload, financial assistance for education, more input in your work environment or process, taking a sabbatical, time for research or planning. You might surprise yourself as to how well the conversation goes, if you believe in the possibilities and approach it with an open mind and heart.

Coaching Inquiries: What do you want? Who do you need to discuss this with? Are you willing to have that conversation? How can you frame it so that it is positive for you and the other person? What preparation would be helpful to you so that you can be confident and creative in opening up new possibilities? 

To reply to this Pathway, use our Feedback Form. To learn more about how a LifeTrek coach can support and guide you in your career development process, please Email Kate or use our Contact Form to schedule a complimentary coaching session. This will give you the opportunity to experience our coaching first hand and to receive the benefits of an individual session, focused specifically on your desires and process.

May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.

Kate Kriynovich (
LifeTrek Coaching International
Columbus, OH

Telephone: 614-488-4659
Fax: 240-465-5848

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