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Are you in a profession where your work involves intimately caring for others?
If you are a doctor, therapist, nurse, teacher, coach or other similar
profession, then it is very likely that you make secret sacrifices and could be
setting yourself up for some serious distress.
A secret sacrifice involves giving up and/or not pursuing a dream, possession,
or way of being. Additionally, you dont share these smothered wants with people
closest to you and quite possibly dont even fully acknowledged the sacrifice
yourself.
Heres an example: One of my past coaching clients, a physician, worked
incredibly long hours, had two small children, and a happy marriage. Through our
coaching work, she revealed to me that for years shes secretly dreamed of being
far more physically fit and also traveling to far away places with her medical
school friends. My client had never shared these secret wants with anyone close
to her. She kept these dreams to herself because it was obvious to her that
there was not any room in her life for either of these things unless she was
willing to step on some of the needs and wants of her two small children and
husband.
Our coaching work evolved into further defining these suppressed dreams and
building ways that she could begin to have these things present in her life.
Also, we worked through the made-up life rules she was carrying around that her
dreams were not significant and that it was her job to only care for her family
and patients.
I have found evidence in personality typing theory, including the Myers Briggs,
that individuals who work in profession where they nurture others are far more
likely to make secret sacrifices. Why is this? The answer is simple. These
individuals enter these professions as caregivers, sharing a common tendency to
regularly put the needs of others before their own.
Making a secret sacrifice involves not articulating what we want or why we want
it. Secret sacrifices not only deny us of something were longing for in our
lives, they can lead to burnout, resentment, feelings of emptiness, etc. These
silent dreams also drain us of our precious energy that makes the care we
provide to others so special. Enormous costs are associated with secret
sacrifices and caregivers would do well to avoid the drain they represent.
Coaching questions: Do you secretly dream of changing careers, going back to
school, traveling the world, getting in shape, etc? What secret sacrifices are
you making? If you pursued this secret want, what attribute would it bring into
your life? Do you have a tendency to regularly put others before yourself to the
extent of your own demise?
 To reply to this
Pathway, use our Feedback Form. To learn more about partnering with a coach to enhance your own personal resilience, please Email Christina or use our Contact Form to arrange for a
complimentary coaching session.
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Christina Lombardo Ray, PCC, CPCC (Christina@LifeTrekCoaching.com)
LifeTrek Coaching International
Columbus, OH
U.S.A.
Telephone: 614-332-9747
Fax: 415-634-2301
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