Provision #731: Moods Matter
Laser Provision
Are you in a good mood? If you are a leader, I certainly hope so. That's because
moods, like emotions, are contagious. People pick up on and attune themselves
with the moods of leaders. When leaders are persistently anxious, frustrated, or
depressed, for example, such qualities come to define the culture and climate of
our organizations. Any thought that people will rise above the mood of their
leaders is largely an illusion and certainly an exception to the rule. Most of
the time, leaders set the tone. It behooves us, then, to set a tone that will
lead to organizational success. And moods cannot be faked. Self-management is
therefore a key work of leadership. Read on if you want to buff up your own mood
and set yourself apart as a leader.
LifeTrek Provision
In her excellent book on leadership in schools,
Trust Matters,
my wife, Megan, makes the following distinction between emotions and moods:
emotions are intense affective states tied to particular events while moods are
less intense, generalized affective states that are not tied to particular
events. Emotions are therefore more transitory, in-the-moment feelings while
moods tend to persist over time and even come to define a leader's personality.
While some leaders are known as generally upbeat and optimistic, for example,
others are known as cynical and suspicious.
What tends to be your mood as a leader? The notion that moods don't make much of
a difference, if that was ever widely held, has now been definitively
discredited. Moods not only matter, they make a huge difference in terms of
mission-critical elements such as productivity, creativity, and quality. If we
hope to get things done as leaders, then managing our moods is a huge part of
the task at hand.
That does not mean that great leaders never have negative emotions. When things
happen that are frustrating, disappointing, or confusing, for example, then it's
not only appropriate, it's helpful to get in touch with our frustration, disappointment, or
confusion. Pretending otherwise causes problems, both psychologically and
organizationally.
Things happen, and when those things interfere with our core
commitments, values, and needs, it is only natural to experience negative
emotions. Acknowledging those feelings and empathizing with their underlying
causes are important parts of the healing process and to our own authenticity as
leaders.
Unfortunately, many leaders don't know how to do that. We fear that people will think
we are weak if we admit to having negative emotions, especially emotions such as
fear or uncertainty, and so we walk around with the proverbial "stiff upper lip"
– acting tough, so as to not let others know what we are really feeling. Male
leaders have been especially prone to such pretenses.
Putting on airs of invulnerability may well have been the expectation of leaders in the early
stages of the industrial revolution, when machine metaphors were often used to describe organizations, but that is no longer the metaphor and no longer
the approach taken by great leaders. Organizations today are viewed in organic
terms, with the different parts being viewed as members of one body which
communicate continuously on a 360-degree basis.
The metaphor of the human body is an apt one for today's organizations. Every
part of the body knows what the brain is doing and vice-versa, even before we become able to
consciously articulate what's going on. That's because the nervous system is
distributed throughout the body, communicating instantaneously as to its
physiological and affective states. If you don't understand what that means,
stub your toe. You'll get a sense of just how fast that nervous system works.
Organizations are no different. The people in them may look like separate and
distinct individuals, but we are connected on many deep and profound levels. One
of the most basic of those levels is what cognitive behavioral neuroscientists
refer to as "emotional contagion." Without saying a word, emotions have a way of
quickly spreading from one person to the next.
And that phenomenon is not limited to human beings. On the contrary, it is a
universal attribute of animals with brain stems and Limbic systems. One bird
gets spooked and the whole flock flies away. One deer hears a noise and the
whole herd cocks their ears. It doesn't take much before an organization will
pick up on and attune itself to the emotions of its leaders and members.
We saw that in the United States, and around the world, in the wake of the
September 11, 2001 tragedies. The emotions were palpable and they galvanized
people with a sense of shock, sadness, and solidarity. People expressed those
emotions and, as a result, were able, however slowly, to move on. That's the way
emotions are supposed to work: trigger, contagion, understanding, release.
Great leaders are not afraid to go through those stages with people.
Unfortunately, too many leaders get stuck at the point of contagion. Emotions
are stimulated by a particular event, but instead of being released through
empathy and resolved through understanding they get perseverated into
all-encompassing moods. Such leaders may think we are just being realistic,
prudent, or firm, but the vibes we are putting out communicate a far more
difficult and dangerous dynamic.
In Trust Matters, Megan quotes Solomon and Flores as identifying seven
"bad" moods that leaders would do well to avoid. To that list, I would add at
least one more:
- Entitlement ("I must get my way.")
- Distrust ("I have to watch my back.")
- Confusion ("I don't know what's going on here or what I'm doing.")
- Panic ("I'll never be able to do this.")
- Cynicism ("Nothing ever really changes around here.")
- Resignation ("I give up.")
- Despair ("Nothing can prevent this looming catastrophe.")
- Resentment ("I don't ever get the respect I deserve.")
Notice how often moods have a generalized, exaggerated, and demanding feel about them.
Words like "never," "don't ever," "nothing," and "must" describe
the tonal quality of moods. Moods don't come and go, like feelings, they instead
linger and define our way of being as leaders.
That's why it's so important for leaders to work constructively with our
feelings and to cultivate positive moods. How we show up emotionally influences
and often determines the culture and climate of our organizations as well
as what gets done. To see how that works, turn those "bad" moods around in the
list above and then ask yourself the following question: "What kind of leader
would I rather work with?"
- Empowerment ("I enable others to find a way.")
- Trust ("I can rely on people.")
- Clarity ("I understand what's happening and what to do.")
- Calm ("I feel comfortable in any situation.")
- Confidence ("Success can be arranged.")
- Determination ("Together, we can get this done.")
- Hope ("Things have a way of working out.")
- Happiness ("People appreciate my contribution and effort.")
Those words have a strong, positive resonance about them. Chances are good that
you found yourself saying, "Yes, that's the kind of leader I would like to work
with." Who wouldn't! We count on leaders to set the pace, and part of that pace
is communicated by our moods. If we are anxious or demanding souls, then the
ability of people to work together, think creatively, improvise solutions, and
rebound from adversity is greatly compromised.
So don't let that happen. Do what it takes to cultivate a good mood. Work
through negative emotions and cook up positive ones through whatever techniques
lift your spirits and enable you to be at your best on a day-to-day basis. You
owe it to yourself and to those you lead to make it so.
Coaching Inquiries: How would you describe your mood in life and work? What
would assist you to cook up more positivity? Where do you go to find clarity,
calm, confidence, and hope? Who could help you to find those energies today and to
stay with them tomorrow?
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LifeTrek Readers' Forum (selected feedback
from the past week)
Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments
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Email Bob.
I have been sitting on my "cook's porch" since about 7:00 this morning listening
to and watching the birds and other critters become active. It is also a time
for me to sink into my more intentional prayers – focusing particularly on some
folk who have come to my attention and who are in some way deep into life
challenges / opportunities.
As I read your Provisions piece on
Mindfulness just now, I am struck by how much
intentional prayer and mindfulness are alike. I have liked Yoda since he first
came on the scene in Star Wars, and thank you on this day for helping me
remember his profound words! Provisions was a great way to close the prayers
today.
Don't say Yes. Be Yes.
Every week when I read Provisions, it seems like they were written directly to
me and situations I am facing. Thank you for that! Top
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Bob Tschannen-Moran
President, LifeTrek Coaching International,
www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation,
www.SchoolTransformation.com
Immediate Past President, International Association of Coaching,
www.CertifiedCoach.org
Author, Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time,
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