Provision #631: Appreciation Appreciates

by Bob Tschannen-Moran

LifeTrek Laser Provision

Today we start a new Provision series on the power of appreciation. What kind of person are you? Do you look for problems and pitfalls? If so, then I'm sure you have no trouble finding them. And that is the world you live in: one filled with plenty of things to gripe and complain about. Do you look for possibilities and provisions? If so, then you no doubt find those as well. And that is the world you live in: one filled with plenty of things to celebrate and build on. That's how appreciation works: what we appreciate, appreciates. So why not appreciate the good stuff?

LifeTrek Provision

"The notion of a positive psychology movement began at a moment in time a few months after I had been elected president of the American Psychological Association in 1998. It took place in my garden while I was weeding with my 5-year-old daughter, Nikki."

"I have to confess that even though I write books about children, I'm really not all that good with them. I am goal-oriented and time-urgent, and when I am weeding in the garden, I am actually trying to get the weeding done. Nikki, however, was throwing weeds into the air and dancing around. I yelled at her. She walked away, came back, and said, 'Daddy, I want to talk with you.'"

"'Yes, Nikki?'"

"'Daddy, do you remember before my fifth birthday? From the time I was three to the time I was five, I was a whiner. I whined every day. When I turned five, I decided not to whine anymore. That was the hardest thing I've ever done. And if I can stop whining, you can stop being such a grouch.'"

"This was for me an epiphany, and nothing less," Seligman observes. "I learned something about raising kids, something about myself, and a great deal about my profession. First, I realized that raising Nikki was not about correcting whining. Nikki did that herself. Rather, I realized that raising Nikki was about taking this marvelous skill -- I call it 'seeing into the soul' -- and amplifying it, nurturing it, helping her to lead her life around it to buffer against her weaknesses and the storms of life."

"Raising children, I realized, is more than fixing what is wrong with them. It is about identifying and nurturing their strongest qualities, what they own and are best at, and helping them find niches in which they can best live out these positive qualities."

"As for my own life, Nikki hit the nail right on the head. I was a grouch. I had spent 50 years mostly enduring wet weather in my soul, and the last 10 years being a nimbus cloud in a household of sunshine. Any good fortune I had was probably not due to my grouchiness but in spite of it. In that moment, I resolved to change."

"But the broadest implication of Nikki's lesson was about the science and practice of psychology. Before World War II, psychology had three distinct missions: curing mental illness, making the lives of all people more productive and fulfilling, and identifying and nurturing high talent."

"Right after the war, two events -- both economic -- changed the face of psychology. In 1946, the Veterans Administration was founded, and thousands of psychologists found out that they could make a living treating mental illness. At that time, the profession of clinical psychologist came into its own. In 1947, the National Institute of Mental Health (which was based on the American Psychiatric Association's disease model and is better described as the National Institute of Mental Illness) was founded, and academics found out that they could get grants if their research was described as being about pathology."

"This arrangement brought many substantial benefits. There have been huge strides in the understanding of and therapy for mental illness: At least 14 disorders, previously intractable, have yielded their secrets to science and can now be either cured or considerably relieved. But the downside was that the other two fundamental missions of psychology -- making the lives of all people better and nurturing genius -- were all but forgotten." (M. Seligman, Positive Psychology, Positive Prevention, and Positive Therapy, 2002).

What may have been true in 1998 is certainly not true in 2009. Indeed, Seligman's 2002 prediction has rapidly come true: "I believe that a psychology of positive human functioning will arise that achieves a scientific understanding and effective interventions to build thriving individuals, families, and communities." Search Google for "positive psychology" and you end up with more than 1.6 million results. Search Amazon and you end up with more than 2,500 books. The study of human thriving is no longer an afterthought; it is a mainstream and growing enterprise that has much to teach us about the power of appreciation.

In weeks to come we will focus on this power, we will learn what positive psychologists have to teach us, and we will -- hopefully -- resolve, with Seligman, to stop being grouches. Search Google for "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas", based on a 1957 book by Dr. Seuss, and you end up with more than 4 million results. Positive psychologists are not the only ones interested in the power of appreciation. Perhaps you remember the plot:

The Grinch, a bitter, cave-dwelling, catlike creature with a heart "two sizes too small," lives on snowy Mount Crumpit, a steep, 3,000-foot (910-meter) high mountain just north of Whoville, home of the merry and warm-hearted Whos. His only companion is his faithful dog, Max. From his perch high atop Mount Crumpit, the Grinch can hear the noisy Christmas festivities that take place in Whoville. Envious of the Whos' happiness, he makes plans to descend on the town and, by means of burglary, deprive them of their Christmas presents and decorations and thus "prevent Christmas from coming". (Wikipedia).

But Christmas still came and the Whos were still singing, which was viewed by the Grinch as a shocking surprise. To quote the inimical Dr. Seuss himself:

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
Christmas came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch carved the roast beast!

Here's to hearts that don't feel quite so tight! What we appreciate, appreciates -- so let's focus on the good stuff and appreciate that.

Coaching Inquiries: What would get you to loosen up your heart? What resolutions would you like to make regarding your attitude? How could you make appreciation a more integral part of your life? Why not celebrate what's right with the world instead of complaining about what's wrong with it? Who could become your appreciation buddy in life and work?

PS -- No sooner did I reprint Seligman's story about the founding of positive psychology (above), than we get this comic from Brian Crane. Enjoy!


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Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, use our Feedback Form or Email Bob..