Provision #610: Autonomy Needs
by Bob Tschannen-Moran
Laser Provision
Autonomy needs probably have a lot of emotional resonance for you. That's
because autonomy, when it gets compromised, can drive us crazy. Understanding
that makes two things clear: one, it's important to not tolerate those
compromises for very long, and two, it's important to respect the autonomy needs
of others. Most bad behavior can be traced back to problems with autonomy. This
Provision makes those dynamics clear and calls us to act accordingly.
LifeTrek Provision
Since the dawn of time, animals have had to cope with and express our needs
for autonomy. With significantly higher degrees of mobility and sentience than
plants, animals have sought to exercise control over our environments and
destinies. We seek to assert ourselves when we perceive that it would be in our
best interest, both individual and collective. Humans, of course, have proven to
be the most controlling and assertive of all animals, such that we are now
having to cope with the global effects of how we have chosen to express our
needs for autonomy.
Early on, there was not much concern about understanding autonomy in terms of
domination. You are, perhaps, familiar with the ancient command from God to the
first humans in the Jewish scriptures: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the
earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over
the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth."
(Genesis 1:28). In a precarious world, domination was often better than the
alternative: annihilation. Domination met many needs, including safety,
subsistence, challenge, work, and rest.
Yet undergirding all of the above is a more fundamental need: the need for
control. Human beings do not like the feelings associated with being out of
control. Those feelings range from anxiety to anger, from depression to despair,
from confusion to contempt. We may eschew the politics of domination, but we all
have a tolerance level below which we cannot abide when it comes to our needs for control. Your level may
be different than mine, but the needs for autonomy, including independence,
freedom, choice, control, individuality, self-efficacy, and power, are
universal.
These needs come into play at virtually every moment. Whether we experience a
perceived lack of internal or external control, we end up with many of the same
feelings. We suffer many unhappy feelings, for example, when we are sick and
unable to control our physical well-being. We suffer the same feelings when our
relationships with other people or the environment are unpredictable,
troublesome, and toxic.
I know, because I've just gone through a significant computer problem (all you
Mac people can start laughing right now – although my Mac friends tell me their
experience is not exactly 100% trouble free). Now I pride myself on having
excellent PC skills. When it comes to both software and hardware problems, I can
usually troubleshoot the situation in fairly short order. But for the past
several months, my primary PC has been increasingly unstable. It would just die,
at random moments, as though someone had pulled the plug out of the machine. There
wasn't even the dreaded blue screen of death.
This was definitely a hardware problem, and my needs for autonomy and
control were definitely not being met here. So I would muscle my way through
another repair scenario, on occasion buying a new piece of hardware, only to
have it happen again an hour, a day, or a week later. Just when I would think I
had the problem solved, giving me the greatest of satisfactions, it would return
with a vengeance. In the end, rather than tolerating the situation any longer, I
bought myself a new computer and have met my needs for control by getting it all
set up just the way I prefer. Had I taken that action several months earlier, I
would have saved money (by not buying the unnecessary parts) and prevented a lot
of frustration.
That, of course, is a coaching lesson. I work with my clients all the time on
eliminating tolerations. I, like many others, put up with them far longer than I
should. There were redeeming aspects to my 3-month-long ordeal, including no
loss of data (thanks to multiple redundancy systems), new technical
understandings (thanks to some great technical support resources), and the
satisfaction of ending up with a great new computer (with a deep discount thanks
to the economy and shrewd bargaining). But if I knew then what I know now, I
would have bought a new computer three months ago.
When I think about the redeeming aspects versus the frustrating dynamics of my
experience, they all have to do with issues related to autonomy. I frequently
and vocally celebrated the systems that I had set up to protect my data. The
systems worked great; the fact that I was the one who had set them up and that
they actually performed as intended was even greater. The new technical
understandings were also great, since I now have a greater sense autonomy than
ever before. When it comes to some things, I won't be calling Microsoft for
advice. And the deep discount? I certainly lucked into some things, but my
approach got me a greater discount than I would have otherwise received apart
from speaking up.
The frustrating dynamics were not only my lack of success with the repairs; they
were also the erratic nature of the environment in which I was working. I had
become habituated to saving my work every few seconds, since I never knew when
the computer was likely to die. If autonomy is about "the quality or state of
being self-governing," then this was clearly a case of a sick computer eroding
that quality. It was obviously my choice to keep the repair project going for as
long as I did, but it was not my choice as to if and when my work and
productivity would be interrupted by a fatal error.
Has something like that ever happened to you? Has your quality of life ever suffered
from a loss of autonomy? I'm sure it has. Two factors enter into the equation:
control and choice. When either or both are compromised, our autonomy and our
quality of life suffer.
That's why we push back so vigorously when we perceive that one or the other is
being threatened. When we lose control, we can do all sorts of strange things to
get that control back. Hence the growth of much that goes on in the world of
alternative therapies. When people are desperate, they will try just about
anything to get their control back. Now I'm not saying that alternative
therapies are a sham. I take as many vitamins and supplements as anyone I know!
But I am saying that the demand for alternative therapies is related to our
needs for autonomy.
Especially when our doctor, our boss, or some other professional gives us an
ultimatum: do this or else; change or die. Oh, how we squirm when our autonomy
is denied! "You insist, I resist" is a basic truism. In any field of human
endeavor, the surest way to provoke resistance is to deny autonomy. When people
lose control, choice, or both, they become self-protective and tend to act in
tragic ways.
I use the word tragic not as a moral judgment but in practical terms. When our
autonomy is disrupted or denied, we often act in ways that make it less rather
than more likely that our needs for autonomy will be met. We pursue therapies,
for example, often at great expense, that have no hope of working. We dig
in our heels, for example, often at great expense, that make matters worse
rather than better. All conflicts, in the end, involve matters of autonomy. And
some have gone on for centuries or even millennia as people fight over their
needs for autonomy.
Understanding that autonomy is a universal human need is the mark of true
leadership. Leaders know how to invite cooperation rather than to force
participation. Force may work in the short run, if success is understood as
compliance. But it often doesn't work in the short run and it never works in the
long run. People can suspend their needs for autonomy – or any of the other
universal needs – for only so long. In the end, because we're talking about
needs rather than wants, they demand attention and require satisfaction.
Would that we could all approach life with such emotional intelligence! It would
make our conversations so much more productive and satisfying. We could have
open and thoughtful conversations about those alternative therapies rather than
defensive and protective ones. We could have rational and reasonable
conversations about those computer problems rather than stubborn and
toleration-justifying ones. We could have respectful and understanding
conversations about those long-standing conflicts rather than explosive and
violent ones.
That is my hope for this Provision and for our world. The more we appreciate
autonomy as a universal human need, the more willing we become to make sure that
need is being met in all our deliberations and interactions. Whether it comes to
internal or external dynamics, the needs for autonomy are the same. We live in a
life-giving world of possibility when we recognize and respect those needs; we
live in a life-alienating world of inevitability when we deny and disrespect those
needs. The more I understand about the contrast, the more I seek to choose life0
Coaching Inquiries: What about you? Where are the places in your life where you
could do a better job at respecting both your own and other people's needs for
autonomy? How could you communicate that respect? What light can be shed on
situations once they are viewed through the lens of autonomy? Who could you talk
with about these dynamics?
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LifeTrek Readers' Forum (selected feedback
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Email Bob..
Your series on needs continues to open my eyes to new ways of understanding
and responding to others. Thanks for all that you do to make them so clear!
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May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Bob Tschannen-Moran
President, LifeTrek Coaching International,
www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation,
www.SchoolTransformation.com
Immediate Past President, International Association of Coaching,
www.CertifiedCoach.org
Author, Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time,
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