                    |
 I am afraid to clean out my garage.
The truth is that I love to clean. Cleaning is, in fact, one of my most favorite
and calming past times. So, when I think about the issue more attentively, I
realize that I'm not afraid to clean. So what is it?
Bruce DiMarsico, psychologist and creator of the Option Method, believes that
"all fear is fear that unhappiness will happen." Isn't that true for most of our
fears? We're most afraid of how we'll feel as a result of the issue, not because
of the issue itself.
What I am afraid of is what I might find in the garage. In other words, I'm more
fearful of what is under the surface.
The Option Method is a form of introspection that can be used to uncover beliefs
that do not serve us. "Option comes from the Latin word for choice and the Greek
word for servant. Both roots are quite appropriate for the name of the method
whose goal is to serve by helping people to realize the role that personal
choice plays in their emotional states," says DiMarsico. The Option Method
suggests the following series of questions:
- What am I (fearful) about? The word in parenthesis can be substituted with
any word that best describes the emotion we are experiencing. This step is an
opportunity to be clear and specific about what concerns you. My answer to this,
for example, is cleaning out the garage.
- What is it about (the issue) that worries you the most? Or, in my case, what
about cleaning out the garage makes me most (fearful)? This is a way to get in
touch with the reasons behind the feeling. For me, what's under the worry is the
possibility of discovering unwanted rodents.
- Why am I (fearful) of that? Or, for what reason are you (fearful)? This
question often leads one to the realization that we've lost touch with the why.
We are sometimes so habitual in our emotions that we forget we can be at choice
with them. My fear, for example, has been how I've always felt about mice, and I
haven't questioned that emotional reaction for a long time. My fear is that I
will no longer be comfortable going into the garage and, even worse, I might
also have mice in the house.
- What would it mean if I were not (fearful) of that? In other words, what am I
afraid would happen if I were not (fearful) of that? Your first reaction to this
question may be puzzlement, so give it some time. What this question
acknowledges is our own ability to choose our emotions when we may instead be
hanging on to outdated emotions, or have assumed someone else's beliefs and
claimed them as our own. Looking at my own aversion more closely, I realize that
I have been able to avoid some unpleasant household chores (climbing into the
attic, for example) because I have held onto a fear of mice. In some ways the
fear has gotten me out of things that I didn't want to do, and at other times it
has gotten in the way of accomplishing desired tasks.
- Why would it have to mean (that)? Here we challenge the assumptions and
habits, questioning their truth and their real consequences. Would choosing not
to be afraid of mice mean that I would suddenly have to take on those
"unpleasant household chores"? It's not likely; my husband and I have happily
worked out the division of responsibilities in our household. And, choosing not
to be afraid would mean that I could reclaim a sense of comfort and safety over
my entire living space.
Coaching Challenge: Though a change in emotional perspective about cleaning out
my garage may not be life-changing, the power of this approach can be applied to
many of our emotional roadblocks. What are you unhappy, angry, or sad about?
Name the emotion that is standing between you and your own happiness. How could
exploring its roots more thoroughly impact you?
 To reply to this Pathway, use our
Feedback Form. To learn more about our
Creativity Coaching Programs and to
arrange for a complementary Creativity coaching session, use our
Contact Form or
Email Erika.
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Erika Jackson
(Erika@LifeTrekCoaching.com)
LifeTrek Coaching International
Columbus, OH
U.S.A.
Telephone: 614-565-9953
Fax: 208-977-7793
Subscribe/Unsubscribe: (Click)
Correspondence: (Click)
Web: (Click)
Mobile:
(Click)
» Top
» Go to Provision Archive
» Go to Wellness Pathway Archive
» Go to Creativity Pathway Archive
» Go to Career Pathway Archive
» Go to Leadership Pathway Archive
» Go to Resilience Pathway Archive
» Go to OD Pathway Archive
» Go to Parenting Pathway Archive
» Go to Webcast Intro
» Go to Webcam (Watch the Birds!)
» Reply to this Article
» Go to Coaching Chat Room |
